Life is messy, and I can’t ever seem to clean it up.
Moms, you can relate to this: you have little ones at home (or big ones, or both), and you survey the land of your home and decide you’d had enough of the clutter. You begin traipsing around the house, picking up toys, clothes, picking up shoes and placing them in the bin…that’s RIGHT BY THE DOOR, a whole foot and a half away from the very spot where the people you grew inside your body and God called you to love senselessly kicked them off their feet when they walked in. And it seems like not five minutes after you’ve done that, these same delights replace the mess you just cleaned up with more mess. That scenario seems to describe my life right now.
As soon as work life appears to be under control and rolling smoothly, marriage life dumps its mess. You get marriage life back on track, and kid life dumps a mess. You wrangle kid life to the best of your ability and, whoopsie-daisy! Outside relationships life just tripped and spilled a whole new mess of mess for you to clean up.
I’m just at a point where I feel like I can’t make any proper decisions in my life. And guys…I’m 45 years old! I’m teaching my 8 and 14 year olds how to foster a proper thought process toward making good decisions, then I retreat to my room and review everything I just said with myself.
They say the older one gets, the less one cares about things. And that may be true in some cases. But I’m finding that I care more the older I get because I value the importance of doing the right thing. And not just the moderately right thing—the absolute, exact, spot-on right thing. There’s no room for error. It’s gotta be juuuuust right. Then I stand back and look at that thing, tilt my head to the side, tilt it to the other side, go back and try to “right” it some more, stand back, look at it, and say, “Yeeauuuhh! Nailed it, Bridge! Boom! Look at me! The Righter of All Things!” Only to think about it more later and realize it’s…still…all…wrong.
But, ugh. Ok. It’s ok! I’ll fix it tomorrow. But tomorrow brings its own messy, little bag of tricks. And now I have…did you think I was going to say two things to make right? Ahhhahahahaha! No, no, my friend. I now have eight to ten things to make right. Because like my sisters and me on a one night get-away, Tomorrow never packs light.
Y’all. I’ma tell you right now…I AM TIRED! It’s just too exhausting. I can’t do it anymore. And unlike all the other things I don’t want to do, so I make my kids do, this ain’t laundry or the dishes. This is up to me.
Ladies (I know there may be men reading this blog, but let’s face it…they slap things together and call it good on the first take), we need to stop. I’m going to tell you something that you may not want to hear but listen up anyway: not everything you do will be right. I know. I knowww. Relax. Take a sip of wine. I’m not done…
Sometimes, we need to just be okay with the best shot we’ve given something in that moment. Because we’re not the “Righter of All Things,” God is. He can take our mess and make it right—for our good and for His glory. And when He takes it, we need to let it go.
Now. Did you take that sip of wine? Because I’m going to tell you something else…God doesn’t always make our wrongs right. Whoa, whoa. I said sip, not chug. It’s ok.
This isn’t 100% Biblical theology here…I’m just telling you what I’ve experienced in my life and hopefully, it will resonate with you. In my life, God has allowed me to make the wrong decisions and lets me just sit with them. He lets the wrong play out. Does that sound scary? Yeah, it can be. But if we trust in Him, rely on Him, even the wrongs can play out for our good and His glory.
Let me tell you something…God will be glorified in our lives, okay? He will. He is God. And because He is God, He is love. He can’t not love us. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know [not think or feel–get out yo’ feelings] that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” I know I am called according to God’s purpose. I know it because I exist and draw breath. Therefore, I am called according to His purpose. I am called to love, to serve, to work, and to honor God in the loving, serving, and working. So I can rest confidently knowing that if I’ve given my life over to God for his purpose, though I may not get everything right, my efforts will be for my good and His glory.
Now, don’t misunderstand—I’m not saying that we can just stroll through life, not consulting God, shooting out bad decisions from the hip all willy-nilly like we’re some bad decision-making gunslinger in the Wild, Wild West, and expect the results to yield good things. (I know that analogy was over the top, but I needed to make a point.) No. I am saying that God wants us to seek Him in all our ways. Then, He wants us to do our best, and let it go. He will honor our best.
So, yeah. I’m tired. But, I’m letting go. Wait…
No, no…I am. I’m letting what’s weighed me down go. And I needed this little sermon I just wrote. I feel a little better already. Do you? I hope so. I’m just here to help, Ladies. My “wordly” analogies and I are just here to help.